My 17 year old nephew in NY texted me the other day. It went something like this…

Him: “Hey.”

Me: “Hey, what’s up?”

Him: “in class how about u?”

Me: “on my way to a seminar about parenting plans etc. for mediators while helping families through a divorce.”

Him: “what do you do for work?”

Me: “That’s actually what I do. I’m a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and I work with couples going through a divorce to ensure their family does not have the same experience that mine did. It’s called turning pain into purpose.”

Him, “Cool, that’s very nice of you to do that Aunt Michelle.”

The Universe Has Other Plans

This brief conversation was actually so timely, as I have spent quite a bit of time in the last few weeks thinking about what I do and WHY. Little did I know 10 years ago when I went back to school that I’d be planting the seeds to help families going through a divorce. I mean, I wanted to make an impact on lives, which was why I was becoming a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). But, that 4 years later I’d be going through my own divorce and watching a broken system try to destroy my family – that part was not anticipated. TRY and TRY as it did -many days it felt like IT (my divorce, the attorneys, and the court system) was winning. But it ultimately did not.

Does WHY We Do What We Do Even Matter?

Simon Sinok has a great, TED talk “How great leaders inspire action”. He starts with a simple questions of “WHY?” and the “golden circle” He elaborates on WHY we do something, and how this concept is so much more important to those we may work with than even WHAT we do or HOW we do it.

Hell Yeah!

After moving to AZ and doing a lot of soul searching, I decided to leave investment management, get my CDFA designation and switch my focus to working on saving families from the heartache that mine endured. You see, the current system we have is broken. It treats a divorce like a criminal matter and it dehumanizes the entire family. Not just the nuclear family, but the extended family too. It is predicated on fear and scarcity. It turns people that once loved each other into adversaries. But I believe there is a better way. One based on common values, communication, intentional choices (rather than reaction) equitable distribution now and into our futures. One that uses Financial Planning concepts. One that remembers that two people once loved each other and many times will have to be part of each other’s lives into the future if they have children.

So, I am standing for families (with or without children) that are workable, financial education that creates future leaders and for (alternative divorce resolution) options that do not involve court; such as mediation, collaborative law, and sitting at your kitchen table and drawing your plan on a napkin, even sharing an attorney (but not full-blown DIY divorce– that’s a discussion of potential pitfalls for another day).

A trained Financial Professional in Divorce Planning and a background in taxes can help with these tasks.

As part of Michelle’s commitment to families, she is a leader for “What Everyone Should know About Divorce” in N. Phoenix/N. Scottsdale and also supports the West Valley. www.secondsaturdaynphoenix.com